A man goes to the doctors with a chip in one ear, a carrot in the other and a sausage up his nose.
What's the matter with me ? He asks.
Your not eating properly reples the doctor.
I bought one of those Christmas scented candles.....
Took a sniff but it just smells like burnt nose hair!
My friend has asked me to invest in his calendar factory.
I told him no because I have heard calendars days are numbered.
A friend of mine told me it’s good to keep a woman wanting more.
I haven’t let my wife finish dinner for weeks.
I asked a prostitute if I could pay her with a credit card.
She said that’s not what the slot is for.
What does a farmer have in common with my wife?
They both wake up to a cock
What does a squirrel have in common with a scrotum?
Both store nuts.
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club.
Thank you all for coming.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in separate box.