What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
They were originally intended for children, but it's the men who play with them the most.
What do the Mafia and a vagina have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets?
A little get together.
Just had a bath in creosote.
I thought I'd treat myself.
Why were they called the “dark ages?”
Because there were a lot of knights.
Want to hear a joke about a roof?
The first one’s on the house.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste, mostly.
I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday
That’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
I know it's a long shot but does anyone know what a trebuchet is?