Elle,
Even though this thread is starting to sound like the arguments I have with the voices in my head, I decided to mark your latest sojourn from our tv screens by recreating another of your PunkGrl photoshoots. The one in the garage to be precise. It was going well and I still looked hot in my "tacky" red wig (as you called it). Unfortunately, the manager announced over the tannoy that I'd either have to fill up with petrol or vacate the forecourt, and the shoot had to be abandoned.
Eventually, the police arrived. Oddly, they didn't seem to mind the wig and the heels but they misintpreted my attempts to draw your male/female shoulder tattoo as some sort of jihadist symbol and I'm being held under the prevention of terrorism act. I tried to explain that the only bombs I'm interested in are yours but they didn't buy it.
Apparently I'm to be hung in the morning (no change there). Of course, if you were to appear on tv soon they might believe my alibi and release me. No pressure. Anytime would be good for me.
Forum Style,
Death row.
This looks like a ruse to me. I know the police have their "blonde moments" but I can't see them giving a man on Death Row accused of terrorism a computer hooked up to the interweb.
Elle, Forum Style has clearly been fibbing to you the whole time. Hang your head in shame FS!
Fibbing?? That's no way to talk about a condemned man. Or at least I was. Luckily, I threw myself on the mercy of the court and they granted me clemency. Well, if I'm honest, I'd been in the cells for nearly 2 days and the wig was starting to pong somewhat (I think it's made from some sort of taxidermist's merkin).
Regardless, I take the accusation of falsehoodery very seriously and, as a consequence, I am requesting that Elle metes out my justice and thrashes rickhardo to within an inch of his life. Ah, the sweet revenge I would take from Elle, probably wearing some sort of lingerie, beating and whipping ... and ... scolding him ... in heels ... (oh Christ) ... I should be punished Elle!! I'm a liar and a fibber! I've never even been in police custody before (well, if you don't count that thing I did with the scuba outfit and the bucket of soapy frogs).
Seriously though, we are nearing yet another 3-week absence from our screens for Elle (man, trust me to like the one that's on less often than David Blunkett's television). Here's hoping the drought ends soon.
"Come sweet slumber and shroud me in thy purple cloak ..."
... What? Elle's on this morning? Sod sleep, I've got a cleavage to catch! (Aah, so round and soft).
Good to see you back (and your front too).
Just been watching Elle on 948 and I think she's incredibly sexy.
Such a beautiful, sexy smile, body...
S
put 948 on just before i went out today and it was great to see Elle back on there. not only back on but looking absolutely stunning!!! from head to toe Elle looked so sexy!!
IMHO Elle is (and I speak as Dannii H fan) one of the sexiest girls on the 900 channels, today though she looked amazing! I loved the way she was dressed and the way she had her hair. Also it's obvious that Elle has a fantastic figure, sweet & sexy smile, beautiful eyes and without doubt the most gorgeous legs & thighs i've ever seen!!!!
You actually made me gasp this morning Elle. Partly because it was such a surprise to see you, but mostly because you looked incredible. It was very hard work to drag myself away and go to work. Hope to see you again soon. xx
Thanks dudes
FS, Regarding your garage terrorist episode.. Were you smuggling TWO bombs under your t-shirt? again trying to impersonate me??! Please use socks or something in future as mine arent that solid anymore and your putting me to shame
LOL
xx
Honestly Elle, I did try to find something that could, in some small way, replicate the welcoming immensity of your cleavage but I didn't stand a chance. Socks?? I think you underestimate both your glorious dimensions AND my desperate need for sock 'enhancement' elsewhere about my person. Actually, 'bombs' is a fairly accurate metaphor for your bosoms ... devastatingly powerful things that will likely cause massive explosions.
I never thought I'd say this but I have to retract my suggestion that you should do the night shows. It's too much for me. With how insanely hot you look at the moment, I'm not sure I could cope with it.
Hi elle, jus wondering wen ur gonna grace us wit ur presence again on d screen
?