"...And joining us for the opening round of the Leg Spreading Competition...
well, a real surprise as Leigh seems to have made a schoolgirl error in positioning herself too closely to the wall thereby limiting her field of operations..."
"...and let's go over to the Judges' table for the scores..."
" If a picture of this outfit ends up on that *?!*ing stupid silly caps thread comparing it to a denim nappy, then I'm holding you personally responsible...."