Jokes

I was going to donate some money to a Donkey Sanctuary,but decided I couldn't be assed.

Feeling horny, I phoned mrs w for some red hot phone sex.
"Tell me you are wearing no knickers" I said.
"Actually, I'm not." she replied.
"OOOOOOOhhhhhhh, you mucky little minx, what are you doing?" I asked provocatively.
"Having a shit." wasn't really the answer I was looking for.

I've reset my controller configuration for Michael Owen on FIFA 12:

A: Injure hamstring.
B: Injure hamstring.
X: Gaze at pitch from bench.
Y: Injure hamstring.

My next door neighbour has a green triangular house.
My other next door neighbour has a yellow rectangular house.
And my neighbour across the road has an orange octagonal house...

I live in a Quality Street.

A female colleague told me of the plans for a musical based on The Monkees.

At first I didn't believe her, but then I saw her face.

(04-11-2011 17:57 )Money_Shot Wrote:  My next door neighbour has a green triangular house.
My other next door neighbour has a yellow rectangular house.
And my neighbour across the road has an orange octagonal house...

I live in a Quality Street.

i went to mars via a milky way in a galaxy... there were celebrations

Michael Jackson dies just before his tour.. Amy Winehouse dies just before her tour... Who else is looking forward to the Justin Bieber tour.....?

(04-11-2011 20:48 )Webs Wrote:  Michael Jackson dies just before his tour.. Amy Winehouse dies just before her tour... Who else is looking forward to the Justin Bieber tour.....?

no, what about the x factor tour?

I was watching some hot porn last night.
It was the best I've ever seen, however, I didn't catch the end as I fell out of the neighbours' tree.

A report out today says 40% of men over 40 suffer from erection problems!

Looking at 40% of women over 40, it's not fucking difficult too see why