Hedley Lamarr: "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
Taggart: "God darnit, Mr Lamarr, you use your mouth purtier than a twenty dollar w.hore."
Sheriff Bart: "Mornin' Ma'am, and isn't it a lurvely mornin?"
Old Woman: "Up yours nigger!"
I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink!
(This post was last modified: 07-10-2011 17:23 by rickhardo.)
Bridesmaid to page girl " so do you have a boyfriend"
Page Girl to Bridesmaid " yeah his names Simon we like to play ping pong"
Bridesmaid to Page Girl "you're lucky most men just want to bonk me and leave me"
Page Girl to Bridesmaid "What's bonking"
Bridesmaid to Page girl "Well it's kind of like ping pong only with slightly smaller balls"
A few lines from one of my favourite TV programmes ever
I'm Alan Partridge.
"We have a caller on the line who fears he may be a gay, he's married so we'll only refer to him by his christian name. This is Domingo from little Oakley."
"That was classic intercourse"
"Eat my cheese you mother!"
"I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John""
"There's never any graffiti in the hotel. Although in the Gents a couple of weeks a go I did see someone had drawn a lady's part. Quite detailed. The guy obviously had talent."
"Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them."
"I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dawg... would hump ya."
"Right, dry skin cream. I'm having an attack of the old flakes again. This morning my pillow looked like a flapjack."
"I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. But a happy one."
‘Oh, butter my arse!’
‘Abso-bloody-exactly!’
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
(This post was last modified: 07-10-2011 17:16 by Money_Shot.)