Jokes

A blonde walked into a shop to buy curtains.
She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those curtains in pink, the size of my computer screen.
The salesman said, "Computers don't need curtains."
The blonde said, "Hellooo, I have windows!"

A couple have just had sex. The woman says "if I get pregnant, what would we call the baby?" The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet. "Well", he says, "if he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini."

I just filmed my girlfriend using her toes to wank me off.Nice bit of footage.

Out of the blue, my mother-in-law told me she wanted to be cremated, so I said "Fine - get your coat."

I never forget a face. But in my mother-in-law's case I'll make an exception.

(07-07-2011 19:19 )Cheesy Grin Wrote:  Out of the blue, my mother-in-law told me she wanted to be cremated, so I said "Fine - get your coat."

I never forget a face. But in my mother-in-law's case I'll make an exception.

les dawson lives!

i never forget a face... two eyes and ears, a nose and mouth!

I wouldn't say my mother-in-law is ugly but she sucked a lemon and the lemon pulled a face......


Mother-in-law is also an anagram of 'Hitler woman'.......


mrs w couldn't believe it when she heard that I'd bought her mother a new Jaguar for her birthday but I explained that I knew what I was doing....

.........it's bitten her twice already!!

never try to rob a pet shop if you've got a cold, i did once, i said, "gimme your money",,,all i left with was four rabbits
(say 'gimme your money' like you've got a cold and you should get it.... and click the thanks button lol)

a man had his left arm and leg cut off in an accident... he's all right now

hi-fi
i just stereo-typed! lol