RE: Babestation - General Chat & Discussion
HOW TO BEAT THE SYSTEM
I can't help noticing that quite a few people have become frustrated with Babestation in recent times. And since I don't think the show is suddenly about to change policy after all this time and thousands of disgruntled posts, I thought I'd try and innovate a solution.
In the course of the past two weeks, I have been extremely busy pioneering a brand new system which allows me to get the best from Babestation, and to encounter each show without having a mental breakdown over full screen ads, phone-shaking, black boxes, etc. My innovative solution is called the Have a Wank Before Babestation Starts system. Here's how it works...
Before watching Babestation, have a wank. Start approximately an hour before the show begins, and wank away to your heart's content, oblivious to the world. There's plenty of time to enjoy yourself. Find some free nudie pics/vids if you like, or imagine... oh I don't know, newsreaders having lesbian sex behind some bins or something. Structure the hour as you see fit, and take breaks if you require them.
Casually perpetuate this regime until a point precisely two minutes before Babestation starts, then let the sofa have it!... That's it, go on... get your arm up to speed - blast your juice round the room like a crop-sprayer in a commercial vineyard.
Now laugh! Laugh your fuckin' head off! It's less than 60 seconds before Babestation goes to air and you've just blown your load with such crippling potency that you never wanna touch your John Thomas again!... Well, until about half-six in the morning, obviously. But in the immediate term, your tool is out of bounds and there ain't nothing Babestation can do or say to change that.
Now watch the show. Look at that pic/vid promo! The shy glamour girl might have her fufi out!... Does it matter? Bollocks does it! That's the beauty of it. Nothing matters! You don't give two stuffs what's behind that censor bar, because the contents of your sad, depleted balls are now spread liberally across the sofa / carpet / possibly walls and ceiling, and your interest in sex at this particular moment is marginally less than John Prescott's interest in watercress... So, now watch the girl shaking her phone for the next half hour. You might be able to get straight through!!... Does it matter? Does it bollocks! You don't wanna get through. If you get through she'll make you talk about sex, and you don't currently care about sex. You've just had sex... well, in medical terms at least - and you don't want it again...
Oh, but look - there's Geri and Megan! They're spoiling it for all the customers! They've attached themselves to the ceiling on an elastic harness so they can just yo-yo down onto the bed every few seconds and sell stuff! Is that a problem?... No, not at all. In fact it's hilarious! Ah, how wonderful it is when your tool's out of action and you're actually able to see the funny side of this perfectly-crafted piece of televisual entertainment.
But what's this?... Geri and Megan? Disconnecting themselves from the harness and walking off set, leaving just a girl on the phone?... Oh, it's boring now. Thirty whole seconds have elapsed with no voice-over, no adverts... Forty seconds... Forty-five... Might as well switch off - it's just tits and sex and stuff... Fifty seconds, fifty-one, fifty-two... Oh it's okay! The world's number one top-selling VO glamour team are back, thank God!! Nearly a whole minute without a piece on the mic though - must remember to complain about that on the forum. How dare they ignore the vitally important business of amusing viewers who've taken the trouble to have a wank before the show started? And for 53 long seconds too - disgusting!!!
Use my Have a Wank Before Babestation Starts system, and by midnight you'll be ready to head for bed with a smile on your face and no impact whatsoever on the old bank balance. Unless of course you get turned on by the thought of hot women selling sexual content to intelligent, intermediate, completely stupid and blind pissed viewers alike. In that case, you're probably gonna want to stay watching for a little longer, and if Geri or Megan should take to the phone, or any other girls do lots of sells on the mic, I'm afraid you are still gonna spend money. Sorry.
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