Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

American Pie :



Dumb and Dumber :

Just started watching The Newsroom (another masterpiece of Aaron Sorkin writing) and heard this little exchange.

Will (Jeff Daniels) is talking to his boss about his appearance in a gossip column saying he made an unsuccsessful pass at someone at a New Years Eve party. The same piece also describes his as a fierce Liberal

Will: "There are a couple of factual errors in that story"
Charlie: "Please let there be more than a couple"
Will: "First of all I'm a registered Republican, I only seem Liberal because I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not gay marriage..."

Zoolander :



Borat :

My favourite was "WTF was Shyalam smoking when making this movie"..another one.."this movie is definitely not happening" :LOL

Airplane :



Pulp Fiction :

Father Ted - Series 3: "Are You Right There, Father Ted?"

Ted's House - Day
Ted is walking down the hallway. He looks at the grandfather clock and then at his watch. He fixes the grandfather clock to the right time - three o'clock. Instead of the three hourly chimes, Father Jack's voice comes from the clock, "Feck, arse, drink. Ted opens the clock door to see Jack's face inside. He closes the door and proceeds to the front room. Dougal is sitting on the sofa.

Dougal: Ted, look at the table. It's so dirty I can write me name in it!
Ted: There's a "G" in Dougal
Dougal: Where?
Ted: Right that's it, I'm fed up living in filth. We're just going to have to get this place clean, Dougal. And look at you. Look at that hole in your tank top. What if the parishioners saw that?
Dougal: Where? Ah God, would you look at that!

Dougal probes the small hole in the top of his tank top. He then stand's up, turns around and displays a large gaping hole in the tank top covering his entire back.

Ted: And this here, look. A perfectly square bit of black dirt on the window. I mean how could you get a perfectly square bit of black dirt on a window? I would have thought that was practically impossible.
Dougal: It's just Mrs Doyle can't do any cleaning. Her back is very bad since she fell off the roof.

Once again, Mrs Doyle falls past the window screaming.

Dougal: See, she can't keep her balance at all.
Ted: That's it then, I'm just going to come out and say it. We're going to have to clean it ourselves.
Dougal: What?
Ted: You heard me Dougal. Are you with me?
Dougal: Well, yeah.
Ted: (Shouting) Right, then let's go, let's clean this mother.
Dougal: Yeeeeaaaah.

Ted takes an old drinks can from the table and slowly drops it in the bin.

Dougal: Ted, what about that bit of lamp that came off? I could pick that up.
Ted: Good idea.
Dougal: [Picking up the lampshade] Wow.
Ted: I'm bored now.
Dougal: Yeah.
Ted: Dougal, look.

Ted takes the lampshade off Dougal, puts it on his head and starts to impersonate a Chinese man.

Ted: I am Chinese if you ple-ease. Come on Dougal, lighten up.

Ted turns round to look out the window where he sees three Chinese people standing. He takes the lampshade off his head and turns to Dougal.

Ted: [frantically] Wha...Who...Wha...? Dougal, there were Chinese people there.
Dougal: Oh, right, yeah.
Ted: I mean what is...I mean...
Dougal: That's the Yin family. They're living over there in that whole Chinatown area.
Ted: Chinatown area? There's a Chinatown area on Craggy Island? Dougal, I wouldn't have done a Chinaman impression if I'd known there was going to be a Chinaman there to see me do a Chinaman impression.
Dougal: Why not, Ted?
Ted: Because it's racist. They'll think I'm a racist. I'm going to have to catch up with them and explain I'm not a racist.

Ted runs outside to the Chinese people who are in their car. Ted stands beside the car to try to explain himself. The Chinese family beep their horn and rev their engine.

Ted: And basically if I don't stretch my eyes like that from time to time I get this thing the doctor calls "Fat Eyes."

The car speeds away spraying Ted with mud.

Ted: [Waving at the car] I hope you wouldn't think it'd be anything of a racial nature. Thanks for being so understanding, see you again, bye.

Talladega Nights :



Young Frankenstein :

Anchorman :



This is Spinal Tap :

Ferris Bueller's Day Off :



"Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy"

Waterboy :