Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

Carry on Cleo is on ITV3 now containing the classic line... 'infamy infamy they've all got it in for me!'

from frasier

frasier: do you see a light bulb above my head?
niles: why, do you have an idea?
frasier: no, i meant do i have an actual light bulb(?)... of course i have an idea!....

Frasier is upset at some graffiti in the mens lavatory about him.

Roz: I'm sure it will wash right off.

Frasier: If only a solvent could remove the stains they left on my spirit....

This is one of favourite film dialogues, its from American Psycho

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...ISYzA36-ZY

American Dad Stannie get your gun

Klaus: (After Francine smashes a wine bottle) Ugh, that's the worst thing to happen to wine since the movie "Sideways." (Looks to the camera) That's right, America. Come get me!

“If Mary Tyler Moore married and divorced Steven Tyler then married and divorced Michael Moore then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler Moore-Tyler-Moore-Moore-Moore?”

Max Blum, Happy Endings.

Die Hard 1988

Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

Family Guy A Picture's Worth a Thousand Bucks

Lois Griffin Peter, we are not going to New York!
Peter Griffin: Lois, our son has been blessed with a great gift, and I'm gonna do everything I can to nurture that talent and help him succeed. Because that's good parenting. Right, Bing Crosby?
Bing Crosby That's right. And if your kids give you any lip you can beat them with a sack of Valencia oranges. It won't leave a bruise and they'll let 'em know who's boss. There's no doubt about it.
Peter: But that doesn't sound right...
Bing: Are you giving me lip, boy? Because I'll take this belt off and put the smack-down on you! Is that what you want? How's that?
Peter: Knock it off! Get away from me, you dead crooner!

Superbad (2007)

Francis the Driver: I'm gonna be totally honest with you. I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime. Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys.
Seth: Well, I'll be honest with you for a second.
Francis the Driver: Okay.
Seth: You better get us a shitload of cash or a shitload of alcohol or you're going to fucking prison.
Evan: What are you doing, man? That's - You don't need to...
Francis the Driver: Okay.
Evan: No, let's not - Let's hang on a second here.
Seth: Cough it up.
Francis the Driver: Fine.
Evan: I don't know if we should be doing anything too official.
Francis the Driver: Let's work together. We're working together. It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go.
Seth: Seven bucks? Are you fucking serious? This isn't enough for anything. What are you, a 6-year-old?
Francis the Driver: It's all I have, man. That's all I have.
Seth: Well, you better think of something quickly, alright? Ah, my back!
Francis the Driver: No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
Seth: My back! Cops, my back.
Francis the Driver: Wait, don't do that. Alright, listen. I can get you alcohol. I'm going to this party right now, bro. Okay? It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? I think you do. Do you

From the Green Mile (1999)

Senior warden Paul Edgcombe (Tom Hanks) and junior warden Percy Whetmore (Doug Hutchison) are having a discussion about the latter's request to be in charge of the next execution -

Edgcombe: Seeing a man die.. that's not enough for you? You've got to be close enough to smell his nuts cook?