Spending Too Much Time Phoning

You know youre spending too much time phoning babe channels when...

You know the 153 times table

The babes greet you by name

Your favourite channel changes its phone options to
1 to speak to the onscreen babe
2 to listen in
3 for

The babes text you to let you know they will be on

You start talking dirty at work when customers phone up

You have the babe channels on speed dial

Your ring tone is your favourite babe shouting your name

You spend your days off hanging around the studio

You know where the studio is

Studio security know you

You change your surname by deedpoll to your favourity babes

You get a babes name tattoo

Or picture

And tell your girlfriend its your sister

You know the babes birthdays

And send presents

The pub across the road from the studio keeps a seat by the window for you

You sleep during the day

Babe Channels Are Better Than Computers Because ...

You cant get a virus from a babe channel

A babe channel means mixing with real people

Babe channels never go down

Babe channels will talk to you

Babes dont mind if you cant spell as long as you can select option 1

Babe channels are 100% British. Or Welsh which is almost the same thing

Babe channels never sleep

The shows have no adverts

Piers Morgan is not on any babe channel

Babes want you to last


Computers Are Better Than Babe Channels Because ...

A computer does not cost £1.53 a minute

Computers dont text you asking for £5.99

On you Mums phone

The internet is full of friendly people. Mostly in Nigeria and with cashflow problems, but hey, that can be solved

You can see real sex on a computer

The internet is truly global, provided you dont try to access location specific porn

Computers watch you when you sleep

Adverts pay for content

You can download the best of Piers Morgan

Computers are fast

know what you mean - when I got my new laptop I picked A dell