Jokes

Q. Why can't eggs keep a secret?
A. They tend to crack under pressure.

This one will make you chuckle . Or sigh.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who invented the Knock Knock joke?
A. He won the no-bell prize!

Prepare to sew up your sides!

Q. What does Thor call his underpants?
A. Thunderpants

Ok I'll get me coat

I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop but I turned it down..

I don't like working on sundaes.

Apparently clumsy people are more likely to be obese.
That's because they keep walking into things like fucking McDonalds.

I got a vasectomy. But my wife still got pregnant..

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.