Jokes

My new Fleetwood Mac sat Nav is a load of rubbish.

It keeps telling me I can go my own way.

My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We’ll see about that.

I’m great at multitasking.

I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.

It was tense

How can you spot a blind man on a nudist beach?



its not hard.

Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time!

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent....

Wedding cake.

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class.

The subject of the day is involuntary muscles.

The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm.

"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids.

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...," to which the doctor replies, "I know, I know," placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."