Jokes

Husband: I’m in the mood for something kinky tonight. How about I blow my load in your ear?

Wife: No! I might go deaf!

Husband: I’ve been shooting my wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you’re still talking, aren’t you?

Husband and his wife are sitting in front of their PC and trying to set up a new password

The husband types ‘mypenis’ as a password.

The wife immediately falls on the ground laughing as she sees an error message on the computer screen that reads as “Error! Password’s not long enough!”

I just won an award for most secretive person in the office.

I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

I can never take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him.

I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.

How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit?

Approximately 1 GB.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

What did the leper say to the sex worker?

Keep the tip.

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.