Jokes

Q. What do you call a singing computer? A. A dell.

Q. What did sushi A say to sushi B? A. Wassup B?

Q. What did the father Bison say to his son? A. Bye son.

My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex… I said I haven’t looked.

Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!

What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?

“It’s not what it looks like!”

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly squats

A blonde woman is riding on a two-seater aircraft when the pilot has a fatal heart attack. She radios the tower which assures her that they are experienced and will be able to help her get to the ground. They ask for her height and position and she responds, "I'm 5′4″ and in the front seat!"

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”