Jokes

My math teacher asked me why I was doing my math homework on the floor.

I said: “You told us to do them without using tables.”

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV.

The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, "What are you staring at?"

"A spider," he replies.

"I don't see anything," she says.

"Oh, it must have fallen on your head," he said calmly.

The wife jumps up screaming...

The man says, "While you're up, can you get me another beer?"

I had been planning to stage a world hide and seek championship.

But top class players are hard to find.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology..

has always been my Achilles' elbow.

My wife says I treat her like she’s a god..

every meal is a burnt offering.

I've just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman.

It's very rewarding but quite challenging..

It took me a while to get her husbands voice right.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..

The plot thickens.