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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - i'llbeback123 - 26-09-2025 23:38
“The Iron That Knew Too Much joke story”
Ben’s iron wasn’t just for clothes—it was a gossip machine.
• It beeped every time he wore the same shirt twice.
• It once refused to heat up until he apologized for mixing synthetics and cotton.
• One morning, it printed “Call your mum” in steam across his trousers.
• He tried replacing it. The new iron arrived pre-wrinkled and terrified.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 27-09-2025 00:27
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 27-09-2025 00:29
Why are the Irish so wealthy?
Because their capital is Dublin.
RE: Jokes - Snooks - 28-09-2025 11:47
When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 28-09-2025 20:51
A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.
The bartender gives it to her.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 28-09-2025 20:53
My wife told me she wanted to spice things up in our relationship.
So I brought home some chili peppers.
She was not amused!
RE: Jokes - Rammyrascal - 29-09-2025 23:07
My wife told me she has a BBC fetish....
She wasn't impressed that night though when I walked into our bedroom in my Dr Who cosplay
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 29-09-2025 23:23
Man goes into doctor's office and says, 'Doctor! I have five penises!'
Doctor says, 'My God, how do your pants fit?'
Man says, 'Like a glove!'
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 29-09-2025 23:26
Two nuns are riding their bicycles down a cobblestone road.
One looks around and says to the other, 'I don't think I've ever come this way before.
The other replies, 'Must be the cobblestones.'
RE: Jokes - i'llbeback123 - 30-09-2025 13:49
“The Shower Curtain of Doom” joke story
Lena and Raj were a couple who prided themselves on their minimalist aesthetic. Clean lines. Neutral tones. No clutter. So when they bought a sleek, semi-transparent shower curtain with “anti-mildew tech” and “spa vibes,” they thought they were winning at adulthood.
They were not.
Day 1: The curtain looked elegant. It billowed gently like a ghost in a perfume ad.
Day 3: Raj noticed it clung to him mid-shower. Not lightly. Aggressively. Like it wanted to merge.
Day 5: Lena tried to shower. The curtain wrapped around her like a burrito of damp plastic. She screamed. Raj ran in. Slipped. Hit the sink. The curtain whispered, “One of us.”
Day 7: They tried magnets. The curtain ate them. They tried weights. The curtain flung them. They tried hope. The curtain absorbed it.
Day 10: Raj installed a tension rod to keep it in place. The curtain snapped it in half like a breadstick. Lena called it “The Wet Kraken.”
Day 12: They tried replacing it. The new curtain arrived. The old one refused to leave. It doubled in size overnight. Now it reached the ceiling.
Day 15: They stopped showering. Just sponge baths and fear.
Day 20: A friend visited, saw the curtain, and asked, “Is that... breathing?”