Starting a babe channel

(10-10-2010 23:48 )Matt63 Wrote:  OK guys I have financial backing now. Anyone know of any opportunities to pick up a channel?

I dunno about channel - but I may have found your first 'babe'

http://www.babeshows.co.uk/showthread.ph...#pid631879

Matt,

It might be possible to hire some of the kit and pay costs monthly rather than finding £620k up front. But dont expect Sky or Freeview just to give to a slot - there are a limited number on the satellite/EPG and they ration them out to ensure a balance of genres and maximise revenue. Some for now your best bet would be to buy up a failing channel and rebrand it. Also bear in mind cashflow. The studio crew will want paying weekly monthly or even per shift, particularly if you have no track record. Set designers will want paying on completion - before you broadcast a single frame (unless you broadcast while they work). But money will come in about 2 months in arrears because thats the way the telecos work. Also you wont get £1.50 from a £1.50 call because the telecos rake off their cut.

Every complaint to Ofcom will cost you in legal fees. You dont have to have legal representation, but frankly youd be stupid not to. As well as a camera person you might want a Producer/Compliance officer who will get less caught up in the moment and save you a few fines.

£620k is a lot by most peoples standards, but less than the cost of a big house or a local repair garage. But you could find yourself fuvked over by the cashflow and paying out month on month but not receiving anything because of a dispute, and for that youd need deep pockets. And while Im sure it has never happened in the past, its always possible someone might try dirty tricks that cost you. For example a disgruntled sacked employee could claim you promised them 50% of the business and get a No Hope No Fee parasite [sorry, lawyer] or worse and tie you up in legalities for a year.

Brilliant post by Vostok1 by the way, and looking at some of the figures its really hard to see how the channels stay in business. Here we have mass audience channels, pulling in 1% of the adult male population according to Ofcom, say 200,000 viewers, being funded entirely by 1:1 phone calls and listeners.

And every single one of the channels produces more fresh new live material every day of the week than the BBC 1 to 4, ITV, C4, Five and Sky combined.

Meant to say that if you were to start a babe channel you would need to do everything you can within the rules to maximise your income and cashflow.

1. Use a telecom co who pass call revenue on quickly. You might need to go to on based in an ex-USSR "-stan" country for maximum turnround.
2. And minimise the telecos cut. See 1 above.
3. Use low wage babes who are dont need to pay rent because they live in the studio. As far as I can see the Eurotic babes are on from 8am to 2pm, so they might be able to help.
4. Use East European studios and models. The saving in rent, electric and wages will more than offset the cost of piping the signal in.
5. Combine as many channel types as possible. Have the worlds first Psychic-Babe-Asian-Teleshopping-Poker-Religious channel. Tell the audience that if they dont phone in you will play Lily Allen background music and bluescreen in a background picture alternating between pictures of Noel Edmonds and Anne Widdicombe. It doesnt matter if you dont have the technical means to that, the threat should be enough.
6. As a registered Teleshopping channel you can legally sell the babes used knickers. Ofcom have no way of checking how many you sell a night.
7. Appeal to obsessives by putting an over 40 model on at the same time as youthful ones. Even better if one of them swears at the audience and tramples balloons.
8. Some of the audience will pay good money to send their laundary in and have it washed and ironed by "Mrs Robinson".
9. Save on a cameraman, let the babes take turns and give them a remote control. Even better have a premium rate caller-remote control channel (£5/min), but make sure it times out otherwise the foot fetishists will alienate the rest of the audience.
10. Start on the dot of 9, not midnight. Send the babes home at 1 or 2am when the paying audience has dropped off.

(11-10-2010 17:52 )Sootbag1 Wrote:  

(06-08-2009 21:58 )vostok 1 Wrote:  About £620k for a single channel on Sky.
And that is all before you hire a single Girl, a producer or a camera operator.

For what it's worth, £1.50 x 60 (minutes in an hour), x 24 (hours in a day), x 365 (days in a year) = £788,400. So what's anyone's guesstimate as to the % of time the phoneline is in use on a typical channel?

Also guys filling up the memory on their mobiles with babe pics, getting texts from the babes, calling the off-screen babes (and being disappointed when the girl in Missourri doesn't get most common dirty Anglo-Saxon idioms), misdialling when they want to know the best train from Castle Cary to Fratton, etc...."No, FRATT-on" - "Yeah, frat me real hard, babe, aaahhh.." - "uh, look, I'll try again later..when you're, errr.....yeh BYE" - "...yeah? D'you like it like tha*KLIK*-----
I wouldn't know - I've never been any of these guys.

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

(10-10-2010 23:48 )Matt63 Wrote:  

(06-08-2009 23:23 )perana68 Wrote:  If one would like to set up a channel, one should wait until one (as opposed to one) is in trouble and bail them out, cash permitting, that way they (not party one but the other party) have done all the hard work, got the licenses and stuff; then one should be able to take the channel on as a going concern. You'd then do well to employ all the ropey old birds no-one else wants (insert names here.....), charge only 75p or so a minute and then count the cash coming in.

I am available for consultancy @ £1.50/min

OK guys I have financial backing now. Anyone know of any opportunities to pick up a channel?

Speaking from experience....let it go. The channels do not make money...or at least they dont seem to. The golden time of making a bank in babeshows has gone as soon as there was more than bang and babestation. The competition is too fierce, manouvering space is non-existant, the industry itself is more drama than the west end and trust me...no amount of real world management can do better than whats there already. The only guys doing even remotely ok are the guys who have been doing it for years. Entering the babechannel world now is throwing money down the toilet.

Web tv is the future for this kind of thing. No OFCOM crap to worry about, just run a very slick website with plenty of server power. While I prefer tv the proliferation of proper broadband must mean new "channels" will be online not on air.

You will need to provide something different to the competition, otherwise you'll be wasting your time. To offer the same service as all the other channels would be pointless, as the main players have a foothold on the marketplace...

Don't promise something you can't deliver though. The amount of times people with new channels say they're gonna do things differently, then turn up with the exact same format as all the others is beyond a joke.

(12-10-2010 22:56 )mikeboob Wrote:  Web tv is the future for this kind of thing. No OFCOM crap to worry about, just run a very slick website with plenty of server power. While I prefer tv the proliferation of proper broadband must mean new "channels" will be online not on air.

Ofcom are going to muscle into TV on demand. They already have powers to do this. Its only a matter of time, and dont expect being based abroad to be a Get Out Of Jail Free card forever.

As Winston and Ynot say, its a crowded market and theres a long list of people who have tried, gained 6-12 months experience on top of whatever they started with and still gone bust. Its a great dream, but keep hobbies and work separate.

(12-10-2010 22:56 )mikeboob Wrote:  Web tv is the future for this kind of thing. No OFCOM crap to worry about, just run a very slick website with plenty of server power. While I prefer tv the proliferation of proper broadband must mean new "channels" will be online not on air.

This is true but are you gonna make money???

(13-10-2010 23:10 )eccles Wrote:  Its a great dream, but keep hobbies and work separate.

I don't.
But when it comes to babechannels I'd agree.

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~