Jokes

Whilst clicking the 'QUIT' button on a program, I was issued with the following message:

"Are you sure you want to quit? Hit the 'CONTINUE' button to quit or the 'QUIT' button to continue."

I'll assume this program was designed by an American.

I Love Americans Really

the teacher tells her class to make a sentence using the word dough.jane raises her hand and says"it italy,they make pizza using dough".mary says"my baby brother makes things with play dough"little matty then says"my mum says dads so useless at shagging she has to use a dill dough"

If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Slippers.

so john and edward are called jedward.
anyone else wish they'd been called peter and rick?

(13-11-2009 21:32 )newark red Wrote:  so john and edward are called jedward.
anyone else wish they'd been called peter and rick?

Russel Howard's hilarious. LOL

As a boy my Dad used to say, "Don't look into the sun it'll burn your eyes".

It wasn't until I was 18 that I came across page 3.

My Uncle is a professional Counterfeiter

He even has the certificates to prove it.

A boy comes home from school at 7pm. His dad asks "where were you?"
"i was revising with Jessica" the boy replies. He takes a snack off the dining table and says "yum these fishcakes are lovely",
to which his dad says " wash your hands son, their fucking donuts".

Why does Cherie Blair have such a large handbag?

To carry her toothbrush.

i was meeting a friend in a bar and as i went in,i noticed two pretty girls looking at me"nine" i heard one whisper as i passed by.feeling pleased with myself,i swaggered over to my mate and said those girls just rated me a nine out of ten."i dont want to ruin it for you"he said."but when i walked in they were speaking german"