Jokes

8 things girls should say to guys
1.im bored ,lets shave my pussy
2.are you sure youve had enough to drink?
3.that fart was great do another one
4.of course i swallow ,i love it
5.no thats o.k.you drink beer and watch porn ill do the washing up
6.just for a change put it up my arse
7.how about you get that girl from work to join us
8.marriage,no way
sadly carlsberg dont do girlfriends

An elderly man goes to the doctor. He says "doctor, I think I'm going senile. Several times lately, I've forgot to zip up." The doctor replies "thats not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down."

Online discussions?
I'm all forum.

After landing myself in jail, I spent the first four hours being bummed senseless. My Dad takes monopoly way too seriously!    

Roses are red,
Voilets are blue,
Roses are red,
I have alzheimers.

Will someone please describe to me in simple terms what 'laymans terms' means?    

Roses are dead
Violets are dead
I'm shit at gardening.    

i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...

Roses are red
violets are red
the fence is r....SHIT!! the house is on fire!!!

I was talking to a guy in a pub & asked him where he'd been on his holidays.He said "Room 32B Waikiki resort,Hawaii" I said "That's very Pasific"