Do you have a zombie plan...?

Indeed you did, but you also wrote...

jordo Wrote:Get some tools, a fast car, plenty of food, water and ammo and go nuts.

... implying firearms of some description

Aaaah true! You, Mr Gummidge are very observant!

The unobservant could mistake the first signs of the uprising for an increase in tramps and nutters, thus becoming h'ors d'ouvres for the shuffling hordes. Constant Vigilance...

Zombie plan, Run like hell? LOL Feed off the dead? all good

You guys are all welcome in my secret bunker, the nightly rates are, I think you'll find, very reasonable. Self catering of course but the basic essentials (porn, tissues, playstsation, sky sports subscription etc) will be provided.

The location of the bunker can be discovered by phoning tara the next time shes on, if she has no listners she will reveal the co-ordinates upon request. Tara being one of the permanent residents is also a perk of the bunker. For those of you afraid of the zombies discovering the location, fear not, this method has been devised due to their extreme shy-ness, they just listen in.

The secret knock for bunker access is.... 2 knocks wait 5 sec's, 5knocks wait 1 sec, 3knocks wait 7sec's, 1 knock. Bring your own weapons if possible as my supplies are not infinate

Paddyfrank Wrote:You guys are all welcome in my secret bunker, the nightly rates are, I think you'll find, very reasonable. Self catering of course but the basic essentials (porn, tissues, playstsation, sky sports subscription etc) will be provided.

The location of the bunker can be discovered by phoning tara the next time shes on, if she has no listners she will reveal the co-ordinates upon request. Tara being one of the permanent residents is also a perk of the bunker. For those of you afraid of the zombies discovering the location, fear not, this method has been devised due to their extreme shy-ness, they just listen in.

The secret knock for bunker access is.... 2 knocks wait 5 sec's, 5knocks wait 1 sec, 3knocks wait 7sec's, 1 knock. Bring your own weapons if possible as my supplies are not infinate

Thats a grand total of 11 knocks and 13 seconds, I'm far too impatient for that.

24 seconds if you count each knock as taking one second. More than enough time for the hungry dead to start feasting on the flesh of any one trying to remember the coded knock. just knocking the once and screaming "LET ME IN! I'M NOT A ZOMBIE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!" ought to do it...

OK, in place of the secret knocks a passcode can be used when time is of the essence. The code will be....... 'Soapy Tit Wank'

Soapy tit wank? A fine code word I must say. Something to bring a smile to your face as you contemplate potential devourment... Good thinking that man!

mr gummidge Wrote:24 seconds if you count each knock as taking one second. More than enough time for the hungry dead to start feasting on the flesh of any one trying to remember the coded knock. just knocking the once and screaming "LET ME IN! I'M NOT A ZOMBIE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!" ought to do it...

Chances are though if you are screaming that then there are a couple a zombies close by who may jeopardize the security of the bunker, and I for one wouldn't let you in unless of course you were a female or have a nice figure, you can't be too choosy in a zombie epidemic.