Jokes

(This is a part 2 to the funny gym story from way back on 11th December 2020)

4 Best friends worst sex ever had story joke part 2

Part 2: “Worst Gym Mishaps Ever”

Same café, same crew—but this time, they’re swapping stories about their most humiliating gym experiences. Each one tries to outdo the last:

- Brunette: Tried to impress her crush by lifting weights… accidentally let out a massive fart mid-squat. Echoed through the gym like a foghorn.

- Redhead: Mistook a vibrating foam roller for a massage tool and used it on her face. Ended up with a black eye and a viral TikTok.

- Black-haired girl: Joined a spin class, didn’t realise it was a couples’ session. Got paired with a 70-year-old man named Clive who kept shouting “FASTER, DARLING!”

- Blonde: Thought she was going on a date with a guy named “Jim.” Turns out he just wanted her to spot him at the gym. She spent the whole time holding his sweaty towel and dodging protein farts.

Alternate Part 2: “Worst Holiday Hookups”

They go on a group trip to Ibiza and each one ends up in a romantic disaster:
- One gets catfished by a guy who claimed to be a DJ but was just the hotel janitor.
- Another accidentally hooks up with her ex’s twin brother—who was also staying at the same resort.
- Someone gets stuck in a hammock mid-hookup and has to be cut out by resort staff.
- And the blonde? She thought she was flirting with a guy named Chad… turns out he was just trying to sell her a timeshare.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time.

I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made of orange pop last night.

It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta Sea.

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a lemonade salesman?

She was Schwepped off her feet!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't-opener!

If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.