Jokes

My wife asked how she compared to my past girlfriends..

So I told her she was the only one I had been with!

The others were all eights and nines & a couple of tens.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it...

Then my illegal logging business is a success!

I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit.

A minute later, some guy did exactly the same.

I said to him, "I just did that!"

So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard!

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it.

"Nice car," I said as he got out.

"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks. "Work hard, put the hours in, and this time next year I'll have an even better one!"

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her Mum about the hair. Her Mum calmly said, "That part where the hair is grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

(19-01-2019 11:08 )Skyline Wrote:  A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her Mum about the hair. Her Mum calmly said, "That part where the hair is grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

Oh my God..that made me nearly spit my coffee out

Me too when I first read it

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit....

Just started the Adam Ant diet.......

Don't chew ever, don't chew ever.....

I bought a book today called "Overcoming Kleptomania"

Well, I say bought...