Jokes

The results of a survey out today say 63% of people say manners aren't as good as they used to be.
The other 37% told the researcher to fuck off....

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

My mate used liquorice as bait when he went fishing.

He caught all sorts!

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.

We don’t have Oleg to stand on.

A weasel walks into a bar..

The bartender says “Wow I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get ya?”

“Pop” goes the weasel.

jeesus lad.. what happened ? did you find an old box of Christmas crackers?

(12-12-2017 02:29 )marty1990 Wrote:  What does a man with a 2ft cock have for breakfast?

This morning, i had a boiled egg!

eggs?
in that case its a chicken not a cock mate

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish.

I can’t stop coming to conclusions.

I used to date a girl who worked in a brewery and only had one leg.

She was in charge of the hops!

My girlfriend got confused and went to see a tree surgeon instead of a plastic surgeon.

Mind you, she does have a very nice bush now.