RE: Jokes
A high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party alone, since she was gorgeous, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her, so her mom said, it's very easy, whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, "what will be the name of our baby?" that will scare them off, so she went.
After a little while at the party a boy started dancing with her, and little by little, kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "what will our baby be called?" the boy found some excuse and disappeared.
Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders........ She stopped him and asked him, "what will be the name of our baby?" he ran off.
Later on, Johnny invited her for a walk, after a few minutes he started kissing her and she asked "Johnny.....what will our baby be called?"
He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. "Oh Johnny.....what will our baby be called?" she asked again.
After he was done, he peeled off his condom, tied it in a knot and said... "if he gets out of this one.........
He will be called..............MacGyver
A Blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the
rancher says to Amy ... The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of
cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple she said, by the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the m an says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her
shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the
Boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex.''
Oh I see,' replied the boy.' Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.'
He looks over the display and picks up a Package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package?'
The dad replies,
'Those are for high schoolboys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one For Sunday.
'Cool' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,
'Then who are these for?'
Those are for college men,' the dad answers,
'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.'
'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 Pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
'Those are for Married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........'
What have Ricky Hatton and Gary Glitter got in common? They both went down when they tried to take a little Filipino in the ring.
Kermit the frog has caught swine flu...He shagged Miss Piggy without a condom-what a muppet!
Madonna has said that she is saddened to hear of Peter Andre and Jordan's marriage break up. She also wants to know if she can have first refusal on the blind black baby if neither of them wants it.
The mediocre will always throw stones at the brilliant
Better to die on your feet than to live on your knee's
Never trust anything that bleeds for almost a week and doesn't die
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
(This post was last modified: 12-05-2009 21:17 by Paddyfrank.)
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