Jokes

Two cows in a field on a cold winter's night.

One cow says to the other, "I don't know about you but I'm fresian"

For my next trick, I intend to eat a percussion instrument in a sandwich.

Drum roll please...

(06-01-2019 17:15 )Cheesy Grin Wrote:  For my next trick, I intend to eat a percussion instrument in a sandwich.

Drum roll please...

Badum tish!

Are you here all week?

My landlord wants to talk to me about my high heating bills every month.

I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”

Stood behind Adam Ant at the local ice cream van yesterday. He ordered a standard vanilla.

Did you hear about the sex-mad Welsh farmer?

He died in his sheep.

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

A man arrives at a fancy dress party wearing a pair of Y-fronts and nothing else.

"What are you meant to be?"

"Premature Ejaculation..."

"Premature Ejaculation?..."

"Yeah, I've come in me pants..."

I was complaining to my wife about our nonexistent sex life.

Zero fucks were given.

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers... so I did.

She's 25, and her name's Tiffany.