Jokes

My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it might be me.

My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My girlfriend insists that it says 'dyslexia' but what does she know.

It's a shame that Bob Monkhouse is dead...

Cause I'd know where to send him to get his stolen joke books back for sure!!

Why do ant's never get ill ? - Because they have antybodies.

Just found out one of my mates works as a mime artist.......He kept that quiet!

New Year resolution going well, no chocolate.

Not even thinking about it.

The word is not even in my vocadbury...

My Christmas tree looks like Amy Winehouse, it's in the living room, dead and surrounded by old needles.

I just found out my wife has a twin.

I saw her on Tinder.