Jokes

A bloke was driving down the highway with the Mrs when she says " I think the people in the car next to us are from another country"
"why is that?" asks hubby
"well, the kids are writing on the window, and it says "stit ruoy su wohs"

Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides

And everywhere that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt with a split right up the front...

But she didn't wear that one often

I was banned from B&Q for fighting with a worker there, I went in and this guy came over and asked if I wanted decking, so I made sure I got the first punch in.

The lead actor in the local pantomime 'Aladdin' was sexually abused last night.
To be fair the audience did try to warn him.

This bloke bought his mother-in-law some crotchless knickers for her birthday - nothing sexual, he just thought it would help her grip on her broomstick.

For years men and woman have argued about what is more painful, being kicked in the balls or giving birth.....here's the answer. After having a baby a woman will turn to her bloke and say "lets have another baby" but I challenge you to find a man who will say to someone who's just kicked him in the nuts "that was fun, why don't you kick me in the bollocks again"?

From the olden days

Lol texts