Jokes

whats blue and fucks grannies?
hypothermia

what do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
a widow

how do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
put it in a microwave until its bill withers

two nuns are stuck in a traffic jam,waiting for the lights to change,when a vampire tries to get in the car."oh sister,what shall we do" asks the younger nun."dont panic"said the older nun,"simply show him your cross"so the younger nun opens the car window and shouts "FUCK OFF YOU LITTLE BASTARD"

I love watching women take their clothes off.

Imagine my excitement when this fit bird at work offered me a strip for just £1.

And my disappointment as I end up with five fucking raffle tickets!

A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didn't have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself...

"Why the tears?" he asked.
She says, "I'm eighteen years old and I've never been kissed."
The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head.
She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.
They pause for an unsure moment and then she says, "You know... I'm eighteen years old... and I've never been fucked!"
The man stands up starts smiling and grabs the young woman by the hair and tosses her into the sea.
She starts screaming and bobbing up and down, then the man shouts, "WELL YOU'RE FUCKED NOW, DARLING!"

Can i get away with that ?

So Susan Boyle is admitting she is a virgin. Well, I guess Scotland's drinking problems aren't as bad as we thought.

(31-10-2009 20:58 )Summerz_180 Wrote:  So Susan Boyle is admitting she is a virgin. Well, I guess Scotland's drinking problems aren't as bad as we thought.

thanks summerz_180,thats really funny,id rep you again if i could.yul have to settle for some smiles instead.

whats the difference between a blonde girl and a crack dealer?the blonde can wash her crack and use it again

whats the connection between fat girls and mopeds?
there both great rides,until your mates see you on one