Jokes

I went to Jamaica once in the holiday season, I met this bloke in the changing room who was supposed to be my swimming instructor.

Things were going well until I accidentally saw his penis, I told him "Hey, I accidentally saw your prick, is that okay?"

He said "No worries man, this is Jamaica." Hearing that from him gave me a huge sigh of relief, so I decided to go with it and asked him.

"So I noticed you have a tattoo on your dick saying W and Y. I have one too. You see, when I get a boner my tattoo grows and says Wendy."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah" I replied proudly, "do you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?" I asked

"No man, my tattoo says - Welcome To Jamaica; Have a Nice Day

I'm my bosses sex adviser.

He once told me, "Charlemagne, when I want you F......ING advise I will ask for it!"

What gets longer when pulled, fits neatly between a women's breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

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A seat belt, you dirty bastard!

What came first, internet porn or 'clear all search history?'

Going to the pub and having a coke is like going to Amsterdam and having a wank.

I don't think I've ever had the urge to play poker just before I have a wank, so please partypoker.com,

Fuck off.

Lol

Just taken a handful of laxatives and smoked some weed.

For shits and giggles.

My girlfriend dumped me the other day after complaining that i was "an immature cunt"

To be fair "you are what you eat" wasn't the most appropriate response

lol buddy well liked your last one

(27-10-2009 18:36 )85stevewest Wrote:  lol buddy well liked your last one

I thought it was a peach myself, lol