Jokes

An unnamed weatherman has been sacked because he always gives cold & gloomy forecasts . No more mist & ice guy.

if a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

a businessman gets on an elevator in his office building, a woman already inside greets him saying, "T-G-I-F", he smiles at her and replies, "S-H-I-T", the woman looked at him, puzzled, and again says, "T-G-I-F", again the man says, "S-H-I-T", the woman says, "do you know what i'm saying? "T-G-I-F" means thank god it's friday" "i know" replies the man, "but "S-H-I-T" means sorry, honey, it's thursday"

Even Gavin from Auto Glass couldn't fix Whitney's crack problem...

My doctor asked me what my digestive system was like.

I said "Like everybody else's. I take the biscuit, dunk it in my tea, then eat it."

Virgin Broadband

The two main ingredients needed for a World Of Warcraft profile.

Just been on bigbustycoons.com

Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.

Last night i took my girlfriend out for a meal.

As we got the bill, She asked me if i wanted to go Dutch.

So i put on a pair of clogs and sparked up a joint.

The Beach Boys walk into a bar and go "Round? round? get a round I'll get a round"

A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox,police are still trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.