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Jokes

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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #3671
RE: Jokes
My wife left me as I'm addicted to oxymorons. She was pretty ugly anyway!

The last days are here...
26-09-2011 19:42
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Stillroom Rock Offline
Knowledge speaks wisdom listens
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Post: #3672
RE: Jokes
Took a dyslexic bird home last night, she ended up cooking my sock

In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revoultionary act - George Orwell
26-09-2011 20:16
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #3673
RE: Jokes
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

The last days are here...
27-09-2011 16:10
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Post: #3674
RE: Jokes
hearing voices in your head is annoying, you never know if one time it's the invisible man or not

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
27-09-2011 16:58
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handsomeSOB Offline
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Post: #3675
RE: Jokes
i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
27-09-2011 17:13
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Money_Shot Offline
ATFC - 1992
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Post: #3676
RE: Jokes
It’s no coincidence that man’s best friend cannot talk.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
27-09-2011 17:13
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #3677
RE: Jokes
i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
27-09-2011 17:14
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Money_Shot Offline
ATFC - 1992
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Posts: 3,390
Joined: Jan 2011
Reputation: 88
Post: #3678
RE: Jokes
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
27-09-2011 17:16
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
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Post: #3679
RE: Jokes
is it possible for a man with alzheimer's or amnesia to experience dèja vu? because how would that work? they wouldn't know that they forgot they couldn't remember something that happened?

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
27-09-2011 17:30
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #3680
RE: Jokes
(27-09-2011 17:14 )whoopah Wrote:  i had a joke about amnesia, but, erm... i seem to... er...




The last days are here...
27-09-2011 17:40
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