Jokes

I am sick of people saying that Gingers have no friends!
I have the complete boxset!

im an alcoholic....it took a lot of bottle to admit that.

Leeds United have unveiled their new sponsor … Cillit Bang … guaranteed to remove the scum from the FA cup!

( pity we losted against spurs)

Top tip for Manchester United fans: don’t waste money on expensive new kits every season. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support.

velcro....what a rip off.

i went to a shop and said im looking for a sailor with one arm.he said "sorry,ima wholesailor"

at the same shop i said "have you got any net curtains?"he said"no,they,ve all got VAT on them" i said"thats gross"

chris tarrant asks wayne bridge"for £64,000,what is the colour of vanessa perroncel's pubic hair?is it,A)brown;B)jet black;C)blonde;or;D)ginger?"wayne replies"can i phone a friend?"

i was hard at work the other day.but then this fat ginger chick walked in and it went to a semi.

ive got a christian mobile,its pray as you go.

i saw two snowflakes having a fight,so i said"settle down you two".

Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He dials 999. Paddy says "its my wife ive accidentally shot her, ive killed her" operator responds " please calm down sir. Can you first make sure she really is dead?" CLICK.....BANG!!! "OK, done that, what next?"

when i was little,we used to play a game called"knock and run"where you had to knock on someone elses door and run away before they answer.nowadays,its known as "parcelforce"