Jokes

A Polish immigrant goes to the optician for an eye exam.

The optician pointed to a board with the letters:

C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

“Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read this?!” the Polish man replies, “I work with this guy!”

Where does a volcano go to pee?

In the lavatory.

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

Two artists had an art contest.

It ended in a draw!

What do you call it when a strawberry steals money from a bank?
A Strobbery!!

It was an emotional wedding.

Even the cake was in tiers.

Just got back from my ski trip.

It started off fine but went downhill fast.

I saw a man standing on one leg at the ATM.

Apparently he was just checking his balance.

My girlfriend thinks I’m too nosy—at least that’s what I read in her diary.

Photons checked into a hotel; the receptionist asked if they needed help with luggage—they said, “No, we’re travelling light.”