Jokes

(Part 2 is here...)

“The Great Best-Friend Trip: Chaos Unleashed”

After surviving their families’ travel disasters, Jules and Tasha swore they'd plan the perfect getaway. No goats. No haunted lighthouses. No swamp ponchos.
They chose a neutral destination: a quiet coastal town with a charming Airbnb and zero paranormal activity. Or so they thought.
Day 1: Arrival
The Airbnb host greeted them wearing a full pirate costume.
Host: “Welcome to me humble abode! Ye be the chosen guests of the annual Seagull Festival!”
Tasha: “...Seagull what now?”
Jules: “I swear if a bird steals my sandwich, I’m declaring war.”
Day 2: The Festival Begins
Turns out, the Seagull Festival was real. And aggressive. The town had trained seagulls to deliver postcards. One dive-bombed Jules with a note that read: “Greetings, landlubber!”
Tasha: “This is worse than emotional support Trevor. These birds have unionized.”
Jules: “One just winked at me. I think I’m being recruited.”
Day 3: The Quest for Normalcy
They tried to escape the madness with a hike. The trail was “mildly challenging” according to the brochure. It turned out to be a vertical climb with motivational signs like “You’re not crying, you’re hydrating!”
Tasha: “My legs are filing for divorce.”
Jules: “I just saw a goat. I think it’s the same one from your retreat.”
Day 4: The Airbnb Strikes Back
The shower only worked if you sang sea shanties. The kettle hissed in Morse code. The fridge had a note inside: “I contain secrets.”
Tasha: “This house is sentient.”
Jules: “It’s emotionally manipulative. I just apologized to the toaster.”
Day 5: Escape Plan
They packed up early, only to find the town’s exit blocked by a parade of seagulls wearing tiny hats.
Tasha: “We’re trapped in a bird-based cult.”
Jules: “This is how documentaries start.”
They finally bribed their way out with leftover granola bars and a heartfelt apology to the pirate host.

Back at the café, weeks later:
Tasha: “So... worst trip ever?”
Jules: “Nah. Best one. Because this time, we were the chaos.”
Tasha: “Next year: Antarctica. No birds. No goats. Just ice and regret.”

To the man that stole my highlighter, I will find you.

You can mark my words.

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people.

We haven’t met yet.

Did you hear that Fedex and UPS were merging?

They're going to be called FedUps.