Jokes

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan

Why did the tyre get a promotion?
Cos it consistently went the extra mile.

What do you call two nostrils that believe in the afterlife?

Heaven only nose.

So, Katy Perry takes a ride into space for five minutes & now she's an "Astronaut". I guess that makes me a gynaecologist.....

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks.

The first rule of OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.

A clairvoyant to a man, “I can see you are the father of 3 kids.”

The man smiles smugly, “No, I have 4 kids.”

The clairvoyant, “That’s what you think.”

“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”

“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”

“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”

Why do you never see owls mating when it's raining?

Because it's too wet to woo.

What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?

A smell that you will never forget.