Jokes

Trump’s nothing like Hitler.

There’s no way he could write a book

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she’d popped her clogs.

My friend thinks that drinking beer will make him smarter.

But I don't think anything would make my Budweiser.

Did you hear they arrested the devil?

Yeah, they got him on possession.

Why do historians call the Early Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

There were a lot of knights.

Tried to speed up my magic carpet for the big race but was told I couldn't use performance enhancing rugs.

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.

He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me

I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It’s shift work.

What did the taxidermist do on his lunch break?
Stuffed his face.

An ice cream seller was found dead in their ice cream van covered in chocolate sauce, raspberry sauce, sprinkles & Cadbury Flake bars & cherries.
Police have said the seller apparently topped themselves