Jokes

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward.

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory.

"What's the best thing about Switzerland?"

"I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"My dad told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line."

I've got a joke. I know that's what happens here but stick with me because I've actually come up with this myself as opposed to just finding it online somewhere.
It's not very good really but like I say I thought of it, unless it's been around for ages and I've just remembered it.
Anyway here goes.

If your a good actor you might get a BAFTA but if your a good baker you get a BAPTA.

There, I know, but it's original (I think)

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

A salesman knocks on little Benny’s front door and the conversation goes:

Salesman: Can I see your dad?

Benny: No, he’s in the shower.

Salesman: What about your mum?

Benny: She’s in the shower too.

Salesman: Do you think they’ll be coming out soon?

Benny: No. My dad asked me for Vaseline but instead, I gave him super glue.

A farmer’s boy woke up and went to the kitchen to get breakfast. The mother told him that he would get it after his chores were done. He stomps out angrily and heads out to clean the chicken. While going about it, a chicken pecks him and he kicks it. He goes to the pigsty and when one pig knocks him, he knocks it back.

He went ahead to milk their cow and while close to finishing, the cow kicked the bucket and spilled the milk. He kicked the cow too. The mother saw everything and told him no eggs because he kicked the chicken. No bacon because he kicked the pig and no milk because he kicked the cow too.

While in the house, he saw his dad come down the stairs and when a cat almost tripped him, he kicked it. The boy looked at the mother and said, ‘‘should I tell him or you will?’’

What do a hooker and bungee jump have in common?

Unfortunately, if the rubber breaks, you are screwed.