Jokes

A blond and a brunette jump off the Empire State Building. It takes the blonde 3 minutes longer to hit the ground than it does or the brunette. Why?

she had to stop to ask for directions.

My girlfriend phoned my house phone earlier sounding pretty panicked. She said "A bomb's just gone off near where you work, where are you!?

I replied "Since i just answered my housephone, i'll let you take a wild guess."

Two dumb blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first dumb blonde said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

I used to be embarassed by my geology fetish.
I started off stroking gravel but now I’m feeling a little boulder.

Two dumb blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

There were three blondes stuck on an island and they had been there for a few days, when they stumbled across a magical lamp. One of the blonde's rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out and offers to grant each of them a wish.

The first blond says, "Make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island."

He points his finger at her, and she turns into a redhead. Then she heads to the water and swims towards land.

The next blond says, "Make me even smarter than her so I can get off this island!"

So he points his finger and she becomes a brunette, and she builds a boat and sets sail.

The last one says "Make me smarter than both of them combined!!"

The genie points his finger at her and turns her into a man, the man then walks across the foot bridge back to mainland.

Why don't blondes use vibrators?

It chips their teeth.

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.

One blonde shouts to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"

The other blonde replies, "You are on the other side, dumbass!"

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A: Not everyone has been in a 747.