Jokes

My girlfriend said, “I am breaking up with you because of your addiction of wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.”

I said, “Wait! I can change.”

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.

I thought it was a nice jester.

Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.

I’m completely dismayed.

What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

After a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play.

The other detective said, “You mean, he was playing with birds?”

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Cancel its credit card.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

I had a debate with a flat earther. He said he'll walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.

I'm sure he'll come around.

What time machine?

Watch out for the time machine!

My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy.

At least that's what she wrote in her diary.