Jokes

Someone broke into my garage last night and took a bunch of stuff, including my limbo stick!

Seriously, how low can you go?

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

Man goes to India for a cheap cock extension. The surgeon suggests a baby elephants trunk stitched on for £3000. Man agrees. 6 weeks later while having dinner with his new girlfriend he feels an unusual stirring in his pants & his cock flys out steals an apple off the table & goes back in. Wow she says can you do that again. He says my cock can but i dont think my arse can take another fucking apple!

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"