Jokes

The map her friend had drawn indicated that the client, a country vet she was to see, lived in the second farm past Yin road. Try as she might, the vet could not find a Yin Road anywhere! Exasperated, she finally stopped to ask directions.

She stopped and asked at the next farm. "I ain't never heard of no Yin Road." said the farmer. "But ya might try askin' old man McGillicuddy, he's lived 'round here for better 'n 70 years."

"Thanks," replied the vet. "Where can I find him?"

"He lives on the second farm past the Y in the road."

If you refuse to fly due to fear over the probability that there will be a bomb on your plane, rethink your tactics...

Take a bomb with you. The probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low.

I can't believe how boring my life has become. The only time I hear myself say, "I'm coming" is when I'm trying to tell my cat I'm getting his food ready!

Loretta lowered her lashes and whispered, "Kiss me goodnight." So Bob kissed her on the navel. "Why did you do it there?" she asked with surprise. "Oh," he answered, "I wanted to see what you'd open first...your eyes or your legs."

Today local police found an unidentified man's body in a park nearby. They describe him as having a beer belly, saggy balls, wrinkly ass, and a small wiener. Please, let me know if you're OK.

Your Concerned Friend

Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?"

Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"

Policeman: "How can you be so certain?"

Pedestrian: "I’d recognize that laugh anywhere!"

An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts…
so the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts..

Driver: Why don’t you eat them yourself?
Old lady: I can’t chew. Look, I have no teeth..
Driver: Then why do you buy them?
Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolates around them!