Jokes

“The Iron That Knew Too Much joke story”

Ben’s iron wasn’t just for clothes—it was a gossip machine.
• It beeped every time he wore the same shirt twice.
• It once refused to heat up until he apologized for mixing synthetics and cotton.
• One morning, it printed “Call your mum” in steam across his trousers.
• He tried replacing it. The new iron arrived pre-wrinkled and terrified.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Because their capital is Dublin.

When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.

A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

My wife told me she wanted to spice things up in our relationship.

So I brought home some chili peppers.

She was not amused!

My wife told me she had a BBC fetish....

She wasn't impressed that night though when I walked into our bedroom in my Dr Who cosplay

Man goes into doctor's office and says, 'Doctor! I have five penises!'

Doctor says, 'My God, how do your pants fit?'

Man says, 'Like a glove!'

Two nuns are riding their bicycles down a cobblestone road.

One looks around and says to the other, 'I don't think I've ever come this way before.

The other replies, 'Must be the cobblestones.'