27-12-2011, 02:31
Thought I make a thread for giving advice to others.
I want to start with mine, and i'm sure this applies to others as well.
My brother has a habit of being arrogant and judgmental, showing a lack of respect to other peoples' ways by always commenting in a tone in which anything that doesn't agree with him is wrong. He does this to me nearly all the time despite the fact he's two years younger than me.
Just now he mentioned how i wouldn't let anyone on my laptop, which is true, but the way he says it is typical of him making remarks that reflect a lack of respect for other people. ok, i'll admit, i got some vids and pics of women etc on my laptop (not alot, tbh, but plenty of it in my history!) but also got some private documents, personal logs, sentimental photos from uni, etc. while its easy to say i'm hiding my porn (ok, i am - while everyone might think its a normal thing to have, my family are so old fashioned and badly strict about such things it would be a shock to them), there's also a more serious issue as well - that of privacy and personal space.
I don't want anyone on my laptop because it's an invasion of privacy, regardless of whether you have anything to hide. when someone wants to go through your phone or your pictures, normally it's best to ask if you can go through their purse or their wallet. There is a notion afoot in today's world that mobile phones and laptops with no password are "public domain" and if they want to play with yours you automatically should let them. bollocks. i respect other people's boundaries - for example, my brother goes out nearly every night but i have absolutely no idea about his social life, because (a) its not really my business and (b) i dont really care. crossing the boundaries violates your self.
what i like to ask is what can i say to convince them and have them respect my privacy and boundaries? i feel i cannot reason with them as they're quite judgmental and narrow minded people who only sees things from their perspective. i am entitled to my own personal space, but they simply cannot see it like that, always thinking his way's the right way (he also has a habit of never admitting he's wrong, always making excuses for himself). it bothers me because he makes me feel i'm in the wrong, when he is. i respect boundaries, he doesn't.
It should be noted i am an anxiety sufferer so whenever something provocative like this happens i get anxiety attacks and fast breathing, but my brother continues to push my buttons and bother me and whenever i stand up for myself it always fails and he ends up making me feel small and on the losing side.
cheers
I want to start with mine, and i'm sure this applies to others as well.
My brother has a habit of being arrogant and judgmental, showing a lack of respect to other peoples' ways by always commenting in a tone in which anything that doesn't agree with him is wrong. He does this to me nearly all the time despite the fact he's two years younger than me.
Just now he mentioned how i wouldn't let anyone on my laptop, which is true, but the way he says it is typical of him making remarks that reflect a lack of respect for other people. ok, i'll admit, i got some vids and pics of women etc on my laptop (not alot, tbh, but plenty of it in my history!) but also got some private documents, personal logs, sentimental photos from uni, etc. while its easy to say i'm hiding my porn (ok, i am - while everyone might think its a normal thing to have, my family are so old fashioned and badly strict about such things it would be a shock to them), there's also a more serious issue as well - that of privacy and personal space.
I don't want anyone on my laptop because it's an invasion of privacy, regardless of whether you have anything to hide. when someone wants to go through your phone or your pictures, normally it's best to ask if you can go through their purse or their wallet. There is a notion afoot in today's world that mobile phones and laptops with no password are "public domain" and if they want to play with yours you automatically should let them. bollocks. i respect other people's boundaries - for example, my brother goes out nearly every night but i have absolutely no idea about his social life, because (a) its not really my business and (b) i dont really care. crossing the boundaries violates your self.
what i like to ask is what can i say to convince them and have them respect my privacy and boundaries? i feel i cannot reason with them as they're quite judgmental and narrow minded people who only sees things from their perspective. i am entitled to my own personal space, but they simply cannot see it like that, always thinking his way's the right way (he also has a habit of never admitting he's wrong, always making excuses for himself). it bothers me because he makes me feel i'm in the wrong, when he is. i respect boundaries, he doesn't.
It should be noted i am an anxiety sufferer so whenever something provocative like this happens i get anxiety attacks and fast breathing, but my brother continues to push my buttons and bother me and whenever i stand up for myself it always fails and he ends up making me feel small and on the losing side.
cheers