12-08-2011, 16:31
Friends, acquaintances, countrymen.
I speak in hissed whispers and with the stuttering apprehension of a hunted man. For the past torrid year I have been hounded to the ends of the earth by, amongst others, baying lawmen, jilted lovers, and noble rivals. Muskets have been fired, hair has been torn, and blood has been shed.
You may remember me but I am no longer he, though I stand for all of his previous unshakeable values. Like a pipe smoking Phoenix from the flames of a Most Holy war, I soar above dukes and peasants alike, expounding with gruff aplomb lectures, teachings and yes, even prophecies on all things stonkingly good looking girl-related.
I am Ron Botswana, incognito philanderer, anthropologist, and bird fancier. I live but to serve the salacious, unyielding thirst for filly that my fellow men across the globe share.
Chaps, I bid you dispense with the churlish preconceptions I am sure you have of web based channels (did I say it right?), and join me in this thunderous new venture. When I tell you I know a thing or two about girls, I am sure you will take my word for it. I grew up on an Argentinian model farm - from the age of three I was responsible for keeping these thoroughbreds happy in their quarters. I would regale them with jokes, impressions, and swashbuckling seafaring tales I didn't ever quite understand. The beautiful creatures were quite taken by me, and I had my first girlfriend at the age of 4. Ramona Santa-Luisa was her name, and she was the most attractive girl from all of Tierra Del Fuego, which pretty much makes her frontrunner for the accolade of 'fittest bird in the world'. Sadly, no longer had we started 'going steady', that she grew jealous of Ron's antics with other South American beauties and she, well chaps she went a bit mental. I often think of that filly farm, the haunting beauty visits me in lucid dreams where I imagine I am back there. astride a proud horse, surveying all the innocence and awesome grandeur of youth. Hundreds of bright young things with their futures spreading in front of them like some great cosmic roulette table. Each one of them an angel. Such a shame that the whole place BURNED TO THE GROUND.
So off I went. Since then I have known the dark secrets of a wonderful woman from every named country on this pale blue dot. And this is why I want to share. To pass on, before age wearies me, or death takes me.
Gentlemen, without further verbosity, I unsheathe, in all it’s twitching, fresh, lithe glory, WEBHONEYZ.COM - The newest home of the finest, FINEST girls in all the land. As ever, handpicked by Ron. They are simply a cut above the rest, and I have no qualms about being absolutely and personally accountable for each and everyone. And why in God’s land would I? Enjoy, gents – I for one envy you.
I am currently pulling the strings from a safe shack in the Mekong Delta, though I hope to make Cambodia by nightfall. I have half a coconut, an L1A1 Self Loading Rifle, and a copy of 'The Audacity of Hope'.
God Speed, fellow girl lovers.
Ron Botswana Esq.
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I speak in hissed whispers and with the stuttering apprehension of a hunted man. For the past torrid year I have been hounded to the ends of the earth by, amongst others, baying lawmen, jilted lovers, and noble rivals. Muskets have been fired, hair has been torn, and blood has been shed.
You may remember me but I am no longer he, though I stand for all of his previous unshakeable values. Like a pipe smoking Phoenix from the flames of a Most Holy war, I soar above dukes and peasants alike, expounding with gruff aplomb lectures, teachings and yes, even prophecies on all things stonkingly good looking girl-related.
I am Ron Botswana, incognito philanderer, anthropologist, and bird fancier. I live but to serve the salacious, unyielding thirst for filly that my fellow men across the globe share.
Chaps, I bid you dispense with the churlish preconceptions I am sure you have of web based channels (did I say it right?), and join me in this thunderous new venture. When I tell you I know a thing or two about girls, I am sure you will take my word for it. I grew up on an Argentinian model farm - from the age of three I was responsible for keeping these thoroughbreds happy in their quarters. I would regale them with jokes, impressions, and swashbuckling seafaring tales I didn't ever quite understand. The beautiful creatures were quite taken by me, and I had my first girlfriend at the age of 4. Ramona Santa-Luisa was her name, and she was the most attractive girl from all of Tierra Del Fuego, which pretty much makes her frontrunner for the accolade of 'fittest bird in the world'. Sadly, no longer had we started 'going steady', that she grew jealous of Ron's antics with other South American beauties and she, well chaps she went a bit mental. I often think of that filly farm, the haunting beauty visits me in lucid dreams where I imagine I am back there. astride a proud horse, surveying all the innocence and awesome grandeur of youth. Hundreds of bright young things with their futures spreading in front of them like some great cosmic roulette table. Each one of them an angel. Such a shame that the whole place BURNED TO THE GROUND.
So off I went. Since then I have known the dark secrets of a wonderful woman from every named country on this pale blue dot. And this is why I want to share. To pass on, before age wearies me, or death takes me.
Gentlemen, without further verbosity, I unsheathe, in all it’s twitching, fresh, lithe glory, WEBHONEYZ.COM - The newest home of the finest, FINEST girls in all the land. As ever, handpicked by Ron. They are simply a cut above the rest, and I have no qualms about being absolutely and personally accountable for each and everyone. And why in God’s land would I? Enjoy, gents – I for one envy you.
I am currently pulling the strings from a safe shack in the Mekong Delta, though I hope to make Cambodia by nightfall. I have half a coconut, an L1A1 Self Loading Rifle, and a copy of 'The Audacity of Hope'.
God Speed, fellow girl lovers.
Ron Botswana Esq.
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Anyway welcome back Ron.