ive just discovered that if you put a fork up your bum when you are drunk you will wake up far earlier than if you didnt.
works with whisks as well
(and with more alliteration)
I tried it with a chicken, but I just woke up to a alarmed cock! 
stick a peanut in your arse just before you need a shit,it,ll come out a treat
sorry the joke may have been a raison.god imgetting old and forgetful
or you could try an owl up the anus...that would be a hoot
or a spark plug....that would be champion
if i gay man takes viagra does he get a hard on or a wide on?....
thanks 4 the education, i'l bare that in mind next time i come home bladdered 4m a nite out and have work early the next morning lol
Stick the doorbell up your ass, that should give you a buzz
