Private convos [PM/DM] experiences & advice

(07-07-2015 04:08 )wackawoo Wrote:  These threads are popping up a lot lately; people being duped into thinking they are some how special...

I wanted to ask, especially of those people who believe that I think I am 'special' or should be perceived as such [although obviously anyone is free to pile on] - what would they do if a babechannel presenter contacted them, telling them emotional details about their private life or asking for advice? I know that her and I had shared quite a few PMs/DMs before it got personal but it was all a bit out of blue for me. I'm still surprised she did it in the first place! I couldn't just ignore her - I'm not that much of a bastard.

(07-07-2015 00:59 )cj666 Wrote:  ...if you think of yourself as a good and selfless person you don't look for anything in return when talking to someone else about their personal problems.

Also, I'd like to know why the onus of fandom only falls on the fan, not the celebrity. One of the things Elle said to me is that "she always gives back what she takes" from someone. The best I can say about her is that, in the majority of occasions, she at least replied. But to suggest that she reciprocated equally is clearly untrue. Not even vaguely, to be brutally honest. So why should I have to act like a "good and selfless person" just because she is [sort of] famous? Surely she undid the celeb/fan thing when she chose to tell me about her personal life?

(11-07-2015 18:12 )Forum Style Wrote:  I wanted to ask ... what would they do if a babechannel presenter contacted them, telling them emotional details about their private life or asking for advice? ... I couldn't just ignore her - I'm not that much of a bastard.

Being brutally honest...

I don't think it is particularly healthy for a young lady to choose an online acquaintance -- particularly one that she met in a babeshow context -- as the person in whom she confides. I think it is itself a bad sign. A clear signal of her naivety and immaturity. I'd like to think that I would stop that sort of discussion in its tracks the minute I sensed that banter was turning into some sort of "comfort".

And I have done it -- never with a babeshow presenter, but with another girl that I met online. You don't have to slam the door shut and ignore her. You just give her a stern reality check and remind her who she is talking to: a virtual stranger that she has only ever interacted with through the Internet. And then you have to be prepared for her to cut you off, but that would -- in my opinion -- be doing her a favour.

(11-07-2015 19:06 )Goodfella3041 Wrote:  I'd like to think that I would stop that sort of discussion in its tracks the minute I sensed that banter was turning into some sort of "comfort".

It is not easy. Especially considering that I am basically housebound thesedays, so it felt right just to let it happen. Maybe I just got caught up in the idea of having someone who seemed to need me to talk to me, fall into my lap when the majority of my "friends" couldn't be bothered to visit after I was registered disabled. I must admit, I always considered it to be a bit odd that she chose me in which to confide, but I never doubted her sincerity. I still maintain that she did it for the right reasons and maybe, because of other things that were going on, she felt it was the right decision to make at that time. I certainly don't like to think that she did it for purely selfish reasons - however obvious that is. But I definitely agree about her immaturity, and possibly my own - which is a tough thing to admit seeing as I'm supposed to be a grown up. Probably not a great advert for either of us, to be honest.

If a babeshow babe confides in a stranger online, especially one that she's met on a forum like this, then she must be off her bleedin' head. It's not as if this place is littered with experts in life and love! If we were experts in such things we wouldn't be on here.

My final thought is that we all need to be careful on line. Never give out personal details to a babe like shoe size, pin number, favourite margarine etc. If we see someone else, especially a fellow forumite in trouble online, we need to throw them a rubber rescue ring and help them out. Let's care for each other out there people, OK?

Anyway, let's put this one down to experience and move on. I don't want to hear anymore on the subject.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

BC xxx

(12-07-2015 07:44 )Black Cat Wrote:  If we were experts in such things we wouldn't be on here.

I'm not quite sure of your angle with this statement.
I can't speak for others, but I didn't join this forum in search of love
And nor did I join because I believed (or wanted) to get any closer to the girls.
After reading as a guest, I joined for the crack, that's it.

By the way, I am an expert in love

(12-07-2015 08:09 )Bandwagon Wrote:  

(12-07-2015 07:44 )Black Cat Wrote:  If we were experts in such things we wouldn't be on here.

I'm not quite sure of your angle with this statement.
I can't speak for others, but I didn't join this forum in search of love
And nor did I join because I believed (or wanted) to get any closer to the girls.
After reading as a guest, I joined for the crack, that's it.

By the way, I am an expert in love

I know you are mate! I was speaking for the rest of us!

All I was meaning was, why the hell would she pick a random on here and start unloading all her emotional BS? It just seems bizarre.

(12-07-2015 08:09 )Bandwagon Wrote:  

(12-07-2015 07:44 )Black Cat Wrote:  If we were experts in such things we wouldn't be on here.

I'm not quite sure of your angle with this statement.
I can't speak for others, but I didn't join this forum in search of love
And nor did I join because I believed (or wanted) to get any closer to the girls.
After reading as a guest, I joined for the crack, that's it.

By the way, I am an expert in love

We are all sad sack wankers who can't get a woman don't you know! Black Cat you sound like one of the forum hating babes with that.

Not at all mate, quite the opposite!

No point in looking for arguments fellas lol
Forum Style, your not gonna get the closure you seek. Elle will have moved on, I suggest you do the same

(12-07-2015 16:39 )Raider007 Wrote:  Forum Style, your not gonna get the closure you seek. Elle will have moved on, I suggest you do the same

I don't want people to think, just because I started this thread, that I am broken up about it or seeking closure. I've pretty much given up on the idea that I am ever going to get meaningful answers from her and I am ok with that. I started this thread purely to give a place where people can discuss it with those who have also experienced it, and so far it seems to be working. I have also had PMs from people who have been through it or are still experiencing it so for me it has been a worthwhile thing to do. I'm sure there will be people who read this thread and think that fanboys deserve everything they get but, when you're in the middle of it, it is a tough thing of which to let go.