Drunk Thread

Oh man - never, never go out on a xmas work bash with youer workmates when it's mid-January (owing to shitty decenber snow and shite) when it's mid-januery (did I say that?) already? cos you KNOW it's gonna end with you having waaaay too many Vodka red-bull's anmd looking all funny at your colleague's missus (who's gone - in the spacve of two months) from being all blimpy and past it to like... WOW! your tits are like {HUGE} AND YOU ARE soooo FIT NOW!
lIKE, fuckin hel! how DID YOU DO THAT? wHOA, i REALLY HOPE HE APPRECIATES IT, COS day-umm! i SURE A S FUCK DO!!!
aND THENM EVEN YOUR OTHER COLLEAGUE (WITH THE CUTE, SPECCY, FULL-FIGURE BUT STILL DOABLE WIFE) STARTS OGLING ALL THE OTHER 19YO HOTTIES INB THE BAR AS THE WIVES ARE DANCING ABOUT SIX YARDS AWAY IN AN ALMSOT EMPOTY BAR AND THE GIRLIES ARE TUGGING EACH OTHER'S HEMLINBES UP TO HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT EACH OTHER'S GUSSETS AND YOU'RTE LIKE "WOOOOOWWWW!" omg i COULD LICK THAT ALL NIGHT AND SO'S YER MATE AND ALL THE WHILE YOU'RE THINKING TO YOURSELF(YEAH; AND YOUR MISSUS TOO) FUACK YEAHJ!
i AM SOO M UCH A TOTASL SHIT.
i SHOULD BEAT MYSELF UP FOR IT, BUT fuck i HATE HOW MY WROKMATE'S WIVES ARE SO EFFING HOT¬!
aNYONE?
YEAH?
nO?
eVEN THE FUCKIN L;APDANCE CLub was shut so it's not like I can even wipe the thoughts away with tits in me face.

Naaaah, fuck it -

It's my birthday soon - did i put a made-up one on my profile? can't rtemeber. fucj it.
Just wanted to tell you how hot my mate's wives are - and my other best mate too - she's way pretty with the most massive tits - fuck what a jammy bastard!
if yer reading this, mate - I will do her on cam if your up for it - any time! YEEEEAAHHH!!!!!!!

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

(15-01-2011 02:17 )Krill Liberator Wrote:  ...

The rejected 1st draft of The Queen's Xmas Message........

So you arrange a few beers with your mate before christmas,it gets postponed because of his missus,you rearrange...it gets postponed again because of his missus.....you finally get out for a beer,you're having a good day but your mates missus is constantly ringing/texting him.......still doesn't justify telling her what an annoying,pain in the arse,nagging cow she can be when she's had the good grace to drive you home.......can't see that happening again. At least she hasn't got any tasty mates,so no harm done I guess!!!! OOOOPpppssss!!!

(29-01-2011 21:59 )cityboy76 Wrote:  So you arrange a few beers with your mate before christmas,it gets postponed because of his missus,you rearrange...it gets postponed again because of his missus.....you finally get out for a beer,you're having a good day but your mates missus is constantly ringing/texting him.......still doesn't justify telling her what an annoying,pain in the arse,nagging cow she can be when she's had the good grace to drive you home.......can't see that happening again. At least she hasn't got any tasty mates,so no harm done I guess!!!! OOOOPpppssss!!!

Good Grace? She's the BEST!!
Fuckin' A, an' that, ya know?! Real nice lass she is. Said hello earlier, she replied I think, can't remember now.
Wow 9 o'clock already it is. Only had a few cans.
Fuck all on telly again, havin' to go thru some recordings an' that. Is it really that wrong to like Lady Gaga?
I like her. Not as much as Gracie, mind you.
Uh, stomach ache now. Tea+orange juice don't mix, ya know? Stick to the Murphy's (I'm not bitter) .Well John Smith's actu ally.
Ah well, still got 1 an' half cans left - gotta make em' count, ya know?
Ding Dong an' that. Was gonna play Manhunt but got sidetracked - Paige were on. Just had to do it, ya know? Happy days.
Got the Nuts mag 2day - Gracie's innit. Nice pic - topless an' that.
Twitter been funny 2day - txts not workin. Had to keep checkin it an that
Nowt hapniin on facebook much, Twitter took over it a bit I think. Ha!

9:17 now. well good golly gosh - where does the time go, eh? Half the weekend gone practic ally.
Work on Monday - working at shithole. He got a 20 year old cat tho. Alright though - working in side.
I got 3 Katy Perry vids on me recorder now. Not a lot of memory left!
Not had tea yet, dun no what to have.might have some toast anthat. Or some crisps. no don likee crisps.
one got stuck in me gum a while back, ya know? Dint hurt or owt. Man up an that, ya know? Fuck em.

Whatever (the weather) I gotta do sumat with it, fuckin hungry now tho, ya know. Laters, maybe, if I got time.

933 I still got 4 cans left i think, so i best get crackin then, ant I? Cant sit here all day. night.

ah, 1 can... shit. knew i should have gone back owt,. but there you go an that, yu know? Alrite off now - later y'alll
If you see me watch let me know yeah? Cant find it n-e where.
Need piss now gonna watch a film later - maybe if me numbers come up. still got em from last year. not worked yet tho. what ggoods that?

Right i;m off now. beddy byes time nearlly. Still fit as a fiddle tho. nowt wrong with me . leave manhunt while tomooorrrrow now i think, too late an that now. might have chinese or so.

quarter2 ten now. im off. seeeya tommorr mate. (knob)

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"

You have had a long week darling, go out and enjoy yourself.

5 hours later--- that,s some fucking state to come into a house.

sound familiar

by gumy this whisky be nice rumble rumble rimble

Been quiet 2nite coz i was busy gettin rat-arsed!!! Vodka is the devils piss!

Work doo on Friday night, dont think ive ever drunk so much in my life!
got dropped back in Town from whereever we ended up took 4 hours to walk home (when sober this would take about 40 mins) it dawned on me yesterday that i didnt really know where i was going but was following places i recognised......only they were taking me futher and further away from my house. amazing journey, remember throwing up but no idea how i got blood everywhere

i promise not to go out and pissed this cricket season, oh crap im out on wednesday agm and saturday down at pub for manchester derby, the odd saturday (about22) plus sundays, heres my beer hic

....apparently i stole a tambourine from somewhere too :?